Eat that Gary!

Lately there seem to have been misunderstandings regarding my viability and growth: Ectopic pregnancy -- not. Irregularities in development -- not. Miscarriage -- not. Low hCG levels -- well, maybe that, but c'mon, if everything's working okay as is, why should I have to spend time coaxing my corpus luteum to suddenly start producing more hormones just to improve my percentile rank in the Gaussian distribution? There are much better things to do -- like working out.

I'll be the first to admit that, in my confined space within the placenta, working out has its inherent dangers. Like two weeks ago, when, during a particularly vigorous session of high-impact aerobics, I accidentally put my foot through the amniotic membrane and caused a bit of leakage and bleeding. Well, the hole was patched up quick enough, but the damage was already done, suspicions were raised, and before I knew it, another imaging technician was blasting me with ultrasonic pulses and pushing me around with her wand for the second time in a month.

Being ultrasounded may not be the most comfortable experience, but in using the pictures above (first taken at about 12 weeks, second taken around 15 weeks) to evaluate the success of my workout program, it is rather gratifying to realize that I've probably quadrupled my body weight in only THREE WEEKS! Sure beats the workout program Gary's using, who thought a gain of 10 lbs. over four months was great -- well, all I have to say is you can eat that Gary!